Sometimes I can’t sleep
I even had this a s a child and I would be awake in the dark – the house was silent, I knew everyone else was sound asleep tucked up in their beds for the night, and I was awake, looking at the dark – I love the dark – it doesn’t frighten me – it never did. For me it was and still is a completely private adventure. I adore the velvet blackness and wrap it round me like a cloak.
I would pad to the window silently and look up at the glittering night sky.
I still do this now – the wonder hasn’t ebbed at all – in the meantime I have learned a lot about the night sky – the stars, the sun and moon, the planets and the constellations.
I look up at the night sky now as the world around me sleeps and I greet the constellations as old friends. The ones I have recognised from childhood, the ones I can name, the stars I know. We have been together a long time.
While I am travelling I can look up at the sky on clear nights wherever I am on the planet – and recognise the stars in their eternal patterns, and name them – they are always with me.
Imagine my excitement when I first saw the stars of the southern hemisphere, I was absolutely enchanted with them all – specially the southern cross – also clear, constant, reliably there.
Breathtaking.
The wonder has never left me, and I now lead my life by them, but perhaps I always have unknowingly led my life by them – as I have always watched them, wished on them, admired them and been in awe of their beauty.
So maybe I just think I have chosen to follow them, but the truth is, they have always lead me.
Lizzy Agatha 