This is not a pretty story
It is also not a fairy story there are no elves or goblins or trolls – not really

What we are all about today is the human troll
People who surf the internet that are as unpleasant as possible – and that is putting it mildly

I do not understand why trolls exist and why they do what they do, or how they can be so unbelievably mercilessly viciously unpleasant.
Bringing people to tears, stopping them in their tracks,
destroying good work and the blossoming of confidence or the marvelously good idea
in their pure negativity
for no reason whatsoever

It hurts like hell if a ‘troll’ takes aim at you, and systematically tears you and your precious work down, not as constructive criticism, not to improve it in any way – but simply to destroy you and your work as completely as possible.
I had not experienced that before – and it slammed me down hard.
I am, I have to admit, a sensitive soul, and I do allow myself to be open with people – I feel.
So it hit home hard.

After picking myself up from this hurt – the obvious question was why would someone do this?

Why?

The first thing that came to me is that those people who do this are very sad and unhappy, they have had a terrible childhood, an awful youth, have lost everything that matters to them.
How and why and in what way – that I do not know – it could be anything.

They feel unheard – feel unheard, feel unheard and unheard. Forever unheard.

They are screaming in the dark to be heard while they wrap the dark around themselves like a protective cloak. They are sad and deeply unhappy, this endless pain has curved in on itself making them deeply angry.
This anger gives them false strength. They can feel the power of it. They hurt so much they have abandoned all empathy and sympathy. Or, what may be worse, they have never felt it, they do not know what it is. They only know how hurt feels how to turn it on others and dish it out again.

They lash out – when they don’t get exactly what they want, when it’s not perfect for them, when they cannot see that there are others out there, even people who might be inclined to help then, or at least be reasonable.

They are so alone in their pain and the anger, so normalised with lashing out in hatred it makes them difficult to approach – they are also difficult to see as the camouflage cloak they have learned to use makes them practically invisible. Until they come at you for some imagined slight.

These trolls have no other coping mechanism, they cannot let go of the cloak, that security blanket, and they stay within that paranoid world of pain. It is what they know. It is almost impossible to get out of – though if they thought it was safe – they might at least look out – or even if it still seemed safe – try to see what the world is like if they let themselves feel – feel some little thing-  just for a few moments. This is very hard for them, the world is full of input, feelings, information, needs, wants, disturbing social activity, boring annoying work.
The world is full of ‘too much’ – so hiding and lashing out at those too close to the truth is the only mechanism.

Trolls require your compassion, even though they cause pain.
We know that the most pain is always inflicted on the very people closest to them, the people who are trying to heal them, to help them, to show them a way out.

I cannot say it didn’t upset me or that I am trying to help. I’m not that person, but I am trying to understand why people would knowingly and purposefully cause others such pain.

All we can do is try to understand – and don’t let them stop you.