No one likes change, we like comfort.

We do our best not to change because it’s easier that way.
Not to mention that we can be lazy as hell.

Every day I made my plans, promising myself I really will get on with it all today.
Today will be different, today is the beginning of the rest of my life.
Today I will take control, today I really will live up to it and do all I have planned to do.
Like the happy little bunny I am.

It never happened.

I never did follow my planning or my own better judgement
today always turned out to be very like yesterday.
I still felt stuck in my habits and routines which like stubborn stains refused to budge and were still there after weeks of careful brainwashing
Perhaps I needed bleach

Nothing ever seemed to change.
I never seemed to change, nothing I did worked.
I was and am never motivated for longer than half an hour or sometimes three weeks.

On the road to the new fabulous me and my fabulous life in my wonderful new house with my fantastic income from my great job and of course my stunning new shoes.
I got distracted.

I’d see other even more fabulous things

I’d stop to look at the view
I’d try this other interesting path
I go where I’ve never been before
I certainly don’t stick to the plan I had made myself

I inevitably found myself doing something completely different.

Looking at beautiful things.

After huge amounts of meticulous planning and wonderful ideas I’m still exactly where I always was.

Yet

Here I am in my lovely house, comfortable in my surroundings, well off, yes very well off.
With a great family and people I love, work I really enjoy.
Fantastic friends. I even own stunning new shoes!

The surroundings have changed and so have I
Despite what I always thought was my lack of self discipline or good planning, it all happened anyway.

Isn’t that strange and welcome and wonderful all by itself?

I was always unhappy that I couldn’t push myself or be disciplined or stick to routines,
believing I was ruining my life with my scattered frivolous chaotic behaviour

Yet here I am

Exactly where and who I wanted to be all along.
Don’t you worry about it either, if it is meant to happen for you, it will.
If you want to work, work. If you need to rest, rest.

Don’t worry and fret, or plan too much, let your life live itself,
I realise I did all the really important things,
laughed a lot
looked at the view
smelled the flowers,

Loved

I created work that I enjoyed more than anything, even if it didn’t make me any money, my passions have sustained me, always.

It will all happen for you too.
Let it
Trust it